Dog Blogger reminded me of listing random things about one's self.

Here's mine: Totally unremarkable.

1. I'm still wearing my PJ's and it's 1PM on east coast.

2. I really want a dog but still afraid i don't have enough time or money.

3. I laugh at loud at Family Guy even though i know i shouldn't.

4. I haven't changed the oil in my car in 8,000 miles-for the life of the car. (Dumb)

5. I'm having a friend for dinner and have yet to shop or clean the house. Now it's 1:10.

6. I'm counting the days until 12/21 when it starts to get light again.

7. I'm still keeping my football jersey from college with the ridiculous hopes that someday I'll fit into again. (graduated in the mid 80's).

Tag you're it.

I wish...

I Wish...

...I had a camera to take and post photos of the bookmark/bracelets that Inner Dorothy sent me (thanks- they're lovely!)

...I had dealt better with not having a computer for the last 2 weeks. I have become so dependant. Yikes!

...I could exercise more than i can-still recovering from knee surgery.

...I could crank out a winning sermon every week (yeah, i know dream on)

...We could be on the aft deck drinking cool bevs in the hot sun and warm breezes.

...I wish I could have been in Chicago last night.

...I wish you are having better weeks this week than many of you have had in recent ones.

...I wish we were going to Scottsdale next week.

LYMI

Groggy but Grateful

Back from lala land, well not really. The prescribed vicadin was muy effective at battling the pain but has left my brain muy foggy. Not helpful in trying to moderate a session meeting, exegete next week's passage or figure bills.

However, that will eventually fade and my joint (my knee that is) holds great promise for a recovery and hopefully surfing next Summer.

Now only to fit back in to my bikini. LOL!

YIKES and YIPPEE

Got the call Thursday morning that next Wednesday is me' surgery.

Yikes because I'm scrambling to get coverage and cancel/ reschedule all sorts of stuff and yipeee that on the other side, I might actually be able to walk and play, pain free.

That'll also mean I'll most definitely book a tee time for sometime during the BE 2.0 in Scottsdale. Or as Songbird might say... Yip-tastic!

Surfing out, Surgery In

Yep that's right. All my dreams and hopes of becoming a Wahini(Hawaiian for surfer girl) this Summer were dashed when I hurt my knee from too much golf, and beach walking. Such extreme sporting!!!...not)

Have been meeting w/ 2 surgeons for three months and the results are in. I need a knee replacement, but I'm too young. Waaay to young.

So as of yesterday expert-surgeon-in-world-famous-orthopedic-hospital has devised a short term solution to get me pain free and active again. Arthroscopic surgery to clean up jagged edges, floating fragments and floating knee cap. It should give me another 2 years of hopefully pain-free activity.I'm excited.

What then will be my excuse for not losing weight?

Happy and relieved...

Grace Abounds...

P.S...
So after being mortified and as apologetic as i could (see story in last post) her pew buddies said " you couldn't know-it's not your fault-she was just embarrassed that she didn't have her phone on vibrate." Gracious, loving parishioners...

In my pastoral prayer that day I literally asked God's forgiveness for 'smart alec comments' and thanked God for protection, or something like that. The best news is that it was a small kitchen fire and there was no damage to the structure. This should be a good reminder for all of us NOT to be a smart alec and not to use our ovens for storage (especially of new pans wrapped in plastic...)

P.P.S. I called the family immediately after church to ask to come to their hotel and meet with them and pray with them. They said they'd be glad to see me and they'd call back.

P.P.P.S This couple is so classy they decided it was an opportunity to take ME out to dinner, wine and all.

P.P.P.P.S When I apologized emphatically again she said " That's hilarious! I didn't even hear you, but if I had I would have laughed. More wine?"

GRACE ABOUNDS...

Can you top this?

I hate to play the "can you top this?" game since I love you all and it's not really my style...but if you read Will Smamma's recent post about her episode at Wendy's...you'll love this.

Last Sunday, while i was preaching on Exodus (stressful enough for me), a parishioner's phone started ringing...loudly

I love this parishioner. She's a fairly new member with a great sense of humor and she doesn't take much seriously. She also LOVES to kid around. So I stopped in the middle of manna (while she was scrambling to find her phone in her enormous handbag) and said in a school marm voice "Oh [parishioner]... I think we'll have to fine you... Let's make {parishioner] put an extra five dollars in the plate." To which she sheepishly replied "Sorry" and left the sanctuary.

She returned 3 minutes later, grabbed her handbag and left.

Yes, I began to break out in a sweat, remembering she has an elderly mother.

After the sermon, during the deacon's reading of 'joys of and concerns' that I clumsily fold into the pastoral prayer, the deacon announces "Let's also pray for [parishoner and family] she had to leave to meet a town official at her home, because yesterday, she had had a house fire."

Hi, my name is dumb ass, have we met?

R U comin'?

Been hopin and waitin' and wishin' or however that song goes.
Girlz!!! save your pennies, drink cheaper beer, do whatever you can to join us in 'Zona!.
LYMI

I'm back...but my computer isn't

Hi Friends,
Long time,no blog.

I dropped off my laptop the first day of my vacation to be sent to laptop hospital to be repaired so that there would be AMPLE time for it to be repaired, refreshed and renewed as I was doing the same beach-side.

No small irony that as my laptop got bounced around from dealer to manufacturer to box store, I too was bounced around from beach house to bungalow to the parent-inhabited-manse, having some fun and enjoying friends, but very little peace or rest.

I returned scattered and tired but glad for some structure and peace and quiet and laying my head in me' own bed.

Alas, my computer was kinda fixed but needs to be resent to manufacturer for additional repairs. I returned from vacation kinda relaxed but need to return to the now parent-free manse to regain some peace after 1 burial, 3 hospital admittances and 2 session members resigning within a week, from alas...burnout.

enough about me...what do you think if me? (Northeast Humor)

How's by you (all)?

Good Grief (kinda)

I can't seem to shake the sounds of the tender but uncontrollable sobbing from a parishioner who's just lost his mother at the ripe age of 95. (It was expected in part, but she went downhill very fast). And...it's never really "expected" when it's final. She was also the matriarch of our church.

At the same time, I can't seem to shake the silence from a close friend who's also recently lost her father, who's inundated with the details of her life, her work, her family as well as some tension among her siblings. I understand, kinda.

Lastly, I can't seem to shake the grief roller coaster I'm on, slowly and silently grieving the 1st anniversary of a 10 year friendship irreparably severed one year ago today. It triggers other losses as well. You know how it goes...

Psalm 30 reminds us that "weeping may endure for night but joy comes in the morning." I'm not a biblical inerrant, but here's a time when I'd love this to be literally true for all of us.

What is grief's shelf life? What can we "DO" to 'get through it'? How do we find those who are willing to share the burden without offering anxious silence or giving advice or disappearing?

Only God knows.

For me, the diversion of pastoring to others in their grief gives me a 'vacation' from mine own. Other's grief also helps me realize I'm not the only one not having a Summer crafted by HGTV.

I think grief is a state you're sent to un willingly, like one outside your own region, where you think no one will like you, understand you or care for you until you return home again to happy land.

But then Grace appears and calls from afar. An email from an old friend resurfaces unwittingly, or a piece of good news arrives, or work demands your undivided attention and offers you another respite from grief's treadmill.

Grief is not good ,Charlie Brown, but it joins us in membership to a community which we'd all rather not be joined, but where others can speak our language...Or sit with us as a non-anxious, loving presence. It also gives us compassion for others and their places of darkness and loss.

And then of course...there's Paul. Say what you want about him. He deservedly gets a bad rap for being ignorant/obnoxious about women and dramatically adding to the disenfranchising of the Gay and Lesbian population. But still, he is able to let God's message, through Jesus Christ, speak in Romans beyond his own judgemental din.

" I consider that the sufferings of this present time are not worth comparing with the glory about to be revealed to us."

Right. I'll try to remember that before I order my next pepperoni, extra cheese grief-numbing pizza.

But Paul goes on.

For I am convinced that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor rulers, nor things present, nor things to come, nor powers, 39nor height, nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord. Rom 8:38-39

No small gift that Rom 8 is part of the lectionary for the last Sunday before I have 3 Sundays out of the pulpit (save of course the memorial service in the middle of my vacation, for the Matriarch).

Whether you are grieving with others or for yourself or by yourself, or if you've finally surfaced from grief's grip and can ride the waves without getting sucked down by the undertow of loss, may this scripture bring comfort to you....and to those whom you love... and to those whom no one loves.

A paaaarfect day

Tasteless Lunch with a tasteful, really smart friend? $34.50
Copies of sections of helpful Romans commentaries that I don't own? $1.30
Greens fees on an private golf course where I still seem to have visitor privileges $30.00
Refreshments with a beloved friend in her backyard garden apres golf? she wouldn't say.
Cost of gas to get to beach by midnight for last round? $20.00
Cost of re-balancing personal life with life as a minister?

Priceless.

Helpful Reminder

Was just over at Terrapin Station and she was reminded by another blogger to list things we're grateful for. This is timely as I wrestle with an issue that cropped up and bit me unsuspectingly at lunch, while with a beloved friend from Seminary, so here goes:

1) Double the attendance that I expected at July 4th weekend worship this AM
2) Double the positive comments from preaching from Romans 7-one of the beastiest scriptures, I've ever wrestled with
3)Air conditioning, even though it's only moderately hot
4)the BE-ers who keep me going-- I feel like you live near by!
5) Many pots/pans in the sink-evidence of a dinner party in my usually empty, guest less manse
6) Leftover sangria from said gathering (sipping...)
7) Having dinner with parents this evening. They make me crazy but they're alive and well-and still happily married--I know I'm in a minority when I say that.
8) Basil that grows new leaves, every 15 minutes
9) Jersey tomatoes (sans Salmonella) that go with said basil
10) The nap I'm about to take after I finish this
11) Gratitude for any of you who read this and keep me in mind from time to time

Stupid, but blessed...

RevHRod blogged about 4th of July memories via Friday at Five.

Last night's memory takes the cake.

I was with friends, enjoying a super 4th of July celebration at a lovely lake-side home.

Hot grill, cold beer.

The neighbors were setting off their own contraband fireworks but the real show was slated for dark, at the other end of the lake, viewed from my friend's boat, as always.

We decided (against all weather predictions and dark skies) to get in the party boat (aluminum) and go out into the middle of the lake (with all the other idiots) to watch the fireworks.

All was going well; the usual ooohs and ahhhs and of course the "kinda big finish".

But the “Grand Finale” happened 2 minutes after we had turned to head for home.

That’s when God's lightning show started. Bolts and thunder came out of nowhere and 'dern' close!

Imagine then about 250 boats scrambling at 'lightning speed' (but um…safely) in the dark, with nothing but tiny running lights, to get home, “in -between the raindrops”. It was like watching modern day whalers scrambling in search of Moby Dick (with Jaws music playing in the background).

The bolder the lightning, the more the kids shrilled; the harder I prayed--not just for our boat, but all the boats and their cargo.

Then the real rain came with vines of light like you see on “Storm Chasers”. We hugged the land and I prayed harder and faster.

Then the winds started to whip up.

The lake became Gennasaret, but Jesus was NOT asleep in the back.

"Don't you even CARE that we did this foolish thing that we need saving from now?"

More lightning, louder thunder, higher kiddie shrills, faster prayers...

As we approached the dock, the lake was now a sea of waves. Getting there was one thing- docking in these waves, another.

When we were close enough for me to leap onto the dock and grab a line, our passengers jumped off the boat, titanic-like and scrambled for land and cover, while 3 of us stayed to secure and cover the vessel.

Oddly, standing on a wood dock in torrents of wind and rain, securing a canvas cover was a menial task after worrying and praying mightily for 20 minutes for the safety of 1000 or so boaters.

Snap-Snap-Snap. We're outta here!

For a bunch of well educated, usually-very-responsible people, it wasn’t the smartest thing we’ve ever done...but a story to tell the grandchildren or at least work into the Romans text this Sunday. I know what I should do (stay on land in safety), though I do the very thing I hate (go for the fun and worry about the consequences later).

There IS a wideness in God’s mercy…

Aaaaaaaahhhhh....

Sunday: Got through 3rd and final wedding of the month. Touching, swanky, delightful and....delighted to be done. Got home at 11:30 and yup, I left (well slipped out actually) before the entree was served!

Monday: was sleeping peacefully until parishioner called the manse(twice!) leaving messages about stuff that was neither an emergency nor my responsibility. It was the last straw. I called one of my beach buddies, packed a bag and ran way from home.

Tuesday: Slept in at the beach and was awoken more pleasantly by children yelling down the street, racing to get to the ocean with the snap-snap of flip flops. I walked the beach, swam in the ocean, took a nap, made dinner with friends.

Today: Played hookie (again). Played golf with a new friend who's fascinating and fun and could give 2 s****s that I'm a pastor.

Home now. Cool drink in hand, ice pack on knee and enjoying breezes from the A/C.

Aaaaahhhhh.

Workin' on workin' at it

I am at the edges (or the final mile) of what feels like the 18 month marathon. 2 more days of VBS (still going well, thanks be to God) and the last of three weddings is this weekend. I went to the Chateau (yes, literally) where the wedding will be. I agreed to marry them here solely because it was the only 'neutral' ground for both families. I had the bride as a student in Jr. high youth group 100 years ago so although weddings are challenging and painful for me, it'll be a treat to marry her.

The chateau is the one of the swankiest properties I have ever seen. The pool room is literally the pool room used for the scenes in the movie "Cocoon", which is frankly where I'd rather be, than putting out more energy to the world from a fuel tank on fumes.

The last of my energy will be used to manage this stuff, along with more church crazy demands and of course preaching the near sacrfice of you-know-who. This along with eating right and exercising so that I am in shape for surf camp AND attempting to look my best when I meet up with an old 'friend' for lunch in 3 weeks.

Lord have mercy...to it all. None of it's terribly important in the big scheme-just sayin', dieting and exercising at least for me, is a full time job all by itself.

Gifts of Grace

Returned from 24 hours away with NBB? Check.

2 weddings down,1 to go? Check

First day of VBS a HUGE success? Check.

Parishioner buys dinner after VBS(with 2 cold ones)? Check.

Air conditioning working? Check.

Gonna sleep hard?
Well, As Tom Cruise says in TOP GUN : "I dont know, but it's lookin' good so far..."

My New Formula

Problem: Tireless stomach ache/acid reflux from on-going stress from work (along with sadness and grief from work in therapy) combined with residual guilt for lack of self care (read: eating like a horse and not exercising)

Negative Effects: More guilt and self loathing, couching and excessive channel flipping

Solution: See Photo.

Long term affects? None-When I wake up from the sugar coma, it's gonna be like a whole new week!

Sloth, and not by the Sea...

...but I WAS there last Thursday into Friday. So NO complaints. Well sorta...
I am enormously grateful that a lovely-beloved "I-wanted-to-be-like-them" family from my church has shown where the hidden keys are to their beach house which sits on the bay. That is the glorious news.

The reason why I have been avoiding it (besides an impossible pastor's schedule)? The house is 5 blocks from where i spent vacations with my family as a child. This is particularly timely as i unearth the worst of my family-of-origin S**t!

On a lighter note, the first of the three weddings I have in June is over and Confirmation Sunday was 'Successful". This seems like an odd word to use, maybe...but I do come from 20 years in the asphalt jungle... But successful is exactly what I mean after 9 months of parents, mentors and the confirmands themselves, pushing back, complaining and wanting it their way. I stood my ground and popped anti-acids like tic tacs all year. It seems that experience and God's grace prevailed and all are now happy and grateful.

So why am I sitting in my manse staring out the window 'bored' and lifeless?

Probably because the exhaustion is kicking in, I haven't exercised seriously since dancing on the Lido deck for three minutes with Zorra, St Cass and Katherine,(while Cheese rolled her eyes), I've been eating like a sumo wrestler and am dreading 2 more meetings this evening.

C'mon July.

No meetings, light-hearted sermons and hopefully I'll get my sumo body to the gym before I make an ass out of myself at surfing camp in August.

Wahini baby,
GBS

I'm back...

Phew! Hard to believe my last post was a month ago!! But honestly, it's been a blur. (I'm sure that's only true for me...)

Since we spoke last, I've received a most warm welcome from you, my RGBP's. I've also hugged, laughed with, 'eaten and dranken' with and shopped(!)with RGBP-ers's at Festival de Homies and met some new lovely ones! (Sue your book mark is still around my wrist. Prayers continue!!)

I have also been juggling funerals, weddings, youth events, sick friends, confirmation stuff, the capital campaign the renovation of our spire and our 175th anniversary. PHEW! All's well that ends well. God has richly blessed all these events well beyond my gifts or dreams.

Now what? I admit, I'm a little lost.

Before I run away and try to recoup sanity and some lost days off, a small voice is telling me to finally wash the kitchen floor for first time in days...ok weeks...all right! Months!

The non-essential laundry has set up its own blog " Wash me or I'll call the health department" and the oranges and grapefruits in the fridge that are now the size of grapes, I'm pretty sure, are not edible.

Instead though, I have made plans to take my two days, see some friends, go the beach to see more friends, eat, sleep, giggle and give thanks again, that while i was MIA, I know you were thinking of me and praying for me.

GRACE ABOUNDS...

First Word, Second Word, Final Word

So the first "word" I received through Mary Marcotte's divine exercise on the BE was SERVE. And so I did.

Upon my return from "Fantasy turn Reality" I began to madly prep for our officer's retreat four days from my return. I decided to bring along 'the words' to do with our officers. They loved it. It worked beautifully. The word I pulled?

SERVE.

And so I did. That weekend, and for the last 5 weeks, it seems there have been almost non-stop crises, interventions, ugly behavior in meetings, strained relationships, friends in hospital, unexpected deaths, children in trauma.

By the time I arrived at the Confirmation retreat last weekend after a funeral, I learned that the advisers had left their entire plans for the retreat at home. They could not remember what they planned. I went numb.

It's not that I can't plan retreats on the fly. I can. I am a retreat junkie. But to create a plan in a bubble without letting the kids know we're unprepared is worse than the nightmares we've all had about ending up in the pulpit on a Sunday AM, in our bras and panties, without a sermon in hand. Well at least it is for me.

I spiritually got on my hands and knees and begged God to show up, care for, intervene, and make God's presence known to a group of students who have been reticent all year long (as well as their parents) about the "new" process that the "new" pastor put in place. This retreat would either make or break them and me.

I brought the cards again. I handed them out. I pulled one too.

The retreat commenced. In no time at all it went from awkward conversation over hoagies to a hilarious, playful, tender, deep, and wildly successful retreat.

24 hrs later, when we shared "our words" around the table right before communion, almost every student (and advisor) could talk about their word meaningfully. It was beautiful and poignant and I was so deeply relieved and thankful.

I shared my word.

You guessed it.

GRACE